[Daily Discussion] First Page Feedback- October 17, 2020

Science fiction, Novel, His Own Pocket 205 words

Story opens:

They said it was a mission briefing.

Jace wondered why they lied.

An era specialist and the traveler who'd actually make the trip usually met with an academic in a small office on Authority Tower's ground floor, worked out a plan, and sent memos to brief the outfitters, electronics techs, and security on what was needed.

Although they filled only a fifth of the lecture hall's seats, every one of the two hundred people there wore the gold badges of authorized travelers.

Missions, by their nature, were to one time and place. Jace was an Observer, 13th-15th Century, Northern Europe. Sitting near him was Goef, Engineer, 17th Century, Eurasia. The new scars on the face of the man behind him suggested he was the Hunter who'd been injured a month before when bringing in a tiger from prehistory. No legitimate mission could possibly need so many different skills.

Before he could ask if anyone knew what was about to happen, the Director walked up to the rostrum. All rustling and whispers died instantly. No one believed the rumors about him, but no one disbelieved them, either. Only two things mattered: he signed their paychecks, and he never left his office unless absolutely necessary.

End Snippet

What would be most helpful is if someone would tell it back in their own words. That way, I'd know if the reader was picking up all the pertinent information, and/or if something was misunderstood.

Barring that (which isn't actually expected, but you can't shoot me for trying), tell me if it feels like you're being spoonfed information.

As always, whether the words flow for you, any speedbumps or having to go back to re-read part of it, grammer or speling errors, etc. are important.

Thanks!

/r/writing Thread