Hey guys. I'm coming on my year anniversary here and I don't post much in the daily discussion but I think it'll be good to get some shit off my chest. So basically I've been in and out of depression the last few years and I am terrible at coping with shit, especially my first reaction.

Long story short, my brother and I live about 8 hrs away from each other. I wasn't happy where I was living and he's just finished up high school so I thought it would be ideal time to get a place together. I get part of my family back and he gets some life experience, win-win. So about 3 weeks before xmas, he decided to hop on a greyhound and come down here. Everything was super awesome. Showed him some Thugger (he fell in love with Good Times and made me hate it lol) and we just played Xbox beside each other.

So anyways, this is very special to me. Growing up, we didn't have much money so we spent a lot of time together, and most of that was at each others throats. It's been 3 years since I lived at home and I had gone for visits and when I spoke to him it was like I was talking to my best friend. We both grew up more or less and realized we weren't that different.

Anyways, first week he was here was pretty fantastic until on the 15th when my mother came here for a visit (she also lives 8 hrs away). Basically right away I knew something was up with my brother and I guess I'm good at reading people because afterwards I talked to him and he told me he would be leaving with my mom in two days and that he wasn't ready to move etc etc. So mum and my brother went hope and Christmas approached.

I fucking hate the holidays unless I'm with my family and through some circumstances ie I'm fucking broke, I couldn't afford to take the time off work to go see them. I don't know why this has been so devastating to me. I guess I feel like everyone leaves haha it's cliche as fuck and sometimes people have to go but it happens to me all to often and I'm left picking up the pieces.

I know to most people this probably doesn't seem like shit, this is on top of more shit that's gone on throughout my life but I'm feeling like this for that reason so I thought I'd share it with hiphopheads I guess I don't know I'm a weirdo.

idk