Gainesis

The Beginning

1) In the beginning Brodin created the Power Rack and the Olympic Platform.

2) Now the power rack was deserted with an empty barbell, darkness was over the surface of the platform, and the Spirit of Brodin was hovering over the Iron Temple.

3) And Brodin said, “Let there be 45 lb plates,” and there were plates.

4) Brodin saw that the plates were balanced, and he separated the iron plates from the rubber plates.

6) And Brodin said, “Let there be a vault between the reps to separate lifts from lifts.”

7) So Brodin made the vault and separated the reps under the barbell from the weights on it. And it was so.

8) Brodin called the vault “rest.” And there were reps, and there were sets—the second lifting session.

9) And Brodin said, “Let the men under the sky be gathered to one place, and let them pick weights up and put them down repeatedly.” And it was so. 10) Brodin called this movement “deadlifts,” and the gathered men he called “bros.” And Brodin saw that it was good.

10) Then Brodin said "Those who live life in search of their swole shall be called lifters, a title most honorable. And those who deny their nature shall be called beta."

11) Brodin turned to the Lifters, blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase lifts in number; fill the earth and dominate it. Rule over the otters in the sea and the otters in the sky and over every fatty that waddles on the ground.”

12) Brodin saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth lifting session.