Ok so I'm just gonna go through a list of all the uhh... "unique" people who go to my gym.

Hairless Spandex Man: This guy is always wearing black spandex shorts (I can clearly see his dick) and a black skin-tight tank that is way too small. You can always see his belly button because it's too small and he has this creepy dead look in his eyes. He is completely hairless everywhere except for his eyebrows. He also brings a bunch of lifting gear with him and takes up like half of the weight-room with some sort of weird setup where he deadlifts, does stuff with dumbbells, and does pull-ups. This lasts for a solid hour usually.

Sexually Frustrated Dude: Makes moaning sounds on every rep doing literally the only exercise I've seen him do at the gym. He holds a 10kg plate above his head and does sit-ups on the decline bench. Seriously I've heard this guy from across the gym moaning like he was having the best sex of his life...

Come At Me Bro: Granted, I've only seen this guy once before, but he spent 90% of that gym session alternating between staring aggressively at me and shadowboxing/flexing in front of the mirror. The other 10% was spent doing doing curls or dumbbell shoulder press. He was pretty skinny and was wearing a super baggy shirt and shorts. When I first caught him staring at me I thought he just wanted to use the bench but once I finished my sets he didn't start using it, just continued to stare at me throughout the workout.

The Powerlifter: This guy is always shows up in a belt and singlet, and proceeds to squat 80 pounds for a few half-reps. I'm not kidding, that's literally the most I've seen him squat. He also does this in those sort of smith machines, but for squats, because they allow horizontal movement too. Maybe one day he'll get that 1 pl8 squat...

He's Not Gonna Make It Brah: This guy has been going to my gym for the better part of a year, and has literally made no progress, it's actually almost impressive. He's still super skinny, and all I ever see him do is a few meek sets on machines here and there.

Sometimes I think my gym is turning into Delray Fitness, all I need is for the Sith Lord and Big Lenny to show up and start posing to make it complete.