This is going to be long and personal, so I apologize for all the garbage I'm about to type out.

I have been in a real shitty marriage for a few years. The relationship moved too fast and I found myself married to an abusive man before I even knew it. I was raised very conservative/religious, on the edge of all the Vision Forum/Bill Gothard/IBLP cults. Because of that it has taken me a long time to realize that it is okay to leave my husband. I separated from him last year, but due to living in another country and moving back to the US, I had to go back with him.

Now we are living in the US and I've been looking for ways to leave for months now. It's impossible because I don't have any money, job history, car, etc. Up until last month when i reached out to my family in desperation, I did not have a relationship with any of my relatives. I live on the opposite side of the country from any friends or family and I don't have any money to move. I'm so freaking tired of being stuck in this marriage and feeling totally trapped. I'm so angry at how hard it is to move into a better life when you are poor and without any resources. I know that there are resources and shelters for women in abusive relationships and I have tapped into some of those. Fortunately (and unfortunately) my husband has actually become much less abusive and horrible as our marriage has gone on. No more physical abuse; much less verbal, emotional, and mental abuse.

I have 2 children and I am so ready to give them a better life. I'm so ready to live in freedom and happiness. I cannot wait to be poor on my own terms, in my own life.