Daily Thread #1 - November 03, 2018

I'm getting really sick of the way people in real life are responding to my situation. Everyone seems completely intent on downplaying it. I think they think if they pretend it's no big deal that I'll stay calm? Or maybe they genuinely don't think that I should be sad or scared or angry? I dunno but it makes me feel totally invalidated. Like my feelings are wrong. I even had one girl tell me to "enjoy the rest," like I'm on some sort of vacation right now.

One of the things everyone seems to love to do is tell me about so-and-so's baby who was born at X weeks and is "totally fine now!" OK. But what about the babies born at X weeks who didn't survive? What about the ones who aren't totally fine? What about the five-year-old I knew who weighed 30lbs and was legally blind as a result of being born prematurely? And how do these people think these stories will make me feel in the event that my baby isn't "totally fine"?

Not to mention, everyone seems to think this is a very black and white situation. Baby will survive and be "totally fine" or baby won't survive. They are either ignoring or ignorant to the potential complications of prematurity.

Ugh. I dunno. Odds are baby will be "totally fine." But odds were none of what's happened should have happened. Odds were I would have gotten pregnant easily, not had any losses, and been a mom by now. Odds haven't ever been in our favor so it's hard to put faith in them now.

I'm just feeling really angry and sad right now.

/r/PregnancyAfterLoss Thread