For the lazy (1 of 4):
*The Danish Girl 2015 *
Watched Jan 18, 2016
Sally Jane Black’s review published on Letterboxd : To my cisgender friends, I ask that, even if you would not normally do so, you please read this. This film was made for cisgender people, so I feel it important that I write this for cisgender people. I would not normally watch this movie, but it has been a subject of some discussion on this site in a way that has compelled me to watch it in order to discuss it credibly. I do not imagine what I have to say will be definitive or particularly more substantial than what other trans folks have said, but I have a voice here that some listen to, even if only briefly. I might as well take advantage of that. I know that many of you prefer not to read things about films you haven't seen, so let me say the important things first:
- Do not watch this film. It is not merely bad, but harmful.
- If you discuss the film, refer to Lili only as Lili and she/her.
If you are inclined to read further, I will explain why.
Names "When you were a boy..." (The film repeatedly uses language like this to emphasize Lili's past.) "You need to stop, [deadname]." (I'm not going to use it, even in a quote, but Vikander's perfomance stresses the name over and over again.) "Someone who knows him..." (Appealing to Lili's past in the form of Hans.)
Let's start with names and pronouns. It's a pretty simple one. A trans woman is a female, a woman. A trans man is a male, a man. No matter how we are portrayed, no matter what era of our life you refer to, no matter what we "look like" (ugh), no matter what. We deserve the basic respect of being referred to correctly; if I were to misgender you, you would be offended. At the very least, abide by the Golden Rule. You might know some non-binary people who aren't particular about it. You might know some genderqueer people who use completely new pronouns. Respect them as well, and don't use that to suggest that my experience--or Lili's--is the same. Regarding names, no matter what era of my life you are referring to, refer to my actual name--Sally Jane Black--instead of my deadname. If you don't understand the term "deadname," just stop and think about it contextually for a second. (Certain nicknames from friends are acceptable. You know who you are and what you've done.)
One of the most apparent flaws in this film, a flaw I could see coming before I even watched it, was that it did not handle this with care or respect. Undoubtedly, in Lili's day, things were different. I am certain she was misgendered, microaggressed, and insulted, malnamed and generally miscategorized by everyone around her, probably including Gerda. But there's a way to show that without promoting it, and there's a way to show that without degrading the characters. Honestly, a smart writer and/or director could even manage to make this movie without ever using Lili's deadname; the idea that a transition story has to start at a certain point is a cisgender assumption. And, for that matter, the idea that this film has to conform to narrative film conventions is a ridiculous one, too. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The point is, the film's portrayal of Lili encourages those who try to write about it to use both genders and her deadname when discussing the film, because the film itself is at best muddled in this regard. I can make this assertion with the clarity of hindsight, so to speak, because the evidence is overwhelming: very smart, very compassionate, very understanding people who are cisgender refer to Lili by the wrong name and pronoun on this site and elsewhere. Therefore, the film has failed in that regard.
The matter of names is important for a variety of reasons, but the most obvious is simply that using our deadnames and the wrong pronouns is an exertion of power over us that you are not entitled to. It is denying us our transgender status; it is devaluing our selves.
And no, I'm not offended if you didn't know any better. I'm not angry with you. Yes, you. I love you. I'm pissed as fuck with the filmmakers, though.
Gatekeeping The most harmful part of the film, from my point of view, is that is positions cisgender people as gatekeepers. This has been historically true in very painful, awful ways. Cisgender doctors and scientists have, through history, defined the conditions under which transgender people could transition, and because cisgender people have set those criteria, people who were transgender were refused for reasons that had nothing to do with who they were. The criteria were (and sometimes still are) entirely based on hiding transgender people--as they say in high school football, no pass, no play. If you can't convince the world you are cisgender even though you are transgender, you can't have hormones, surgery, or, in some cases, freedom. These criteria were not merely based on passing, however, but also on passing by sexist cisgender standards. There are cis women who are more masculine than I ever was, but under most criteria, I would be required to meet a femininity standard (set largely by men) beyond that.
So this film shows cis male doctors with the power to give and take Lili's freedom and life, and there's some historical accuracy there. But it also--and this is even worse--positions Gerda as the most significant gatekeeper in Lili's life. From the very beginning, Gerda's role in this film is to act as an arbiter between Lili and the world. She is shown to instigate Lili's transition, she is shown to arrest it, she is shown to empower it, she is shown to have inordinate control over it. The dialogue is overwhelmed with it:
"You'd be very convincing." (Valuing passing over not passing.) "Am I pretty enough?" / "I'll never be as pretty as you." / "You are so beautiful." (She doesn't deny the response.) "But Lili doesn't exist." (Insists it's all a game. This is an early shift toward closing the gate.) "I thought you might not come back." (This ambiguous line places blame on Lili for being who she is.) "You should have been there." (The "you" referred to is Lili's birth-assigned identity.) "You aren't insane." (Though she insisted Lili see a doctor to begin with, she later grants Lili absolution from the diagnosis.) "I did this to you." (She takes credit for Lili's existence. Even when Lili corrects her, she latches onto this idea.) "I won't help you to hurt yourself." (The film makes sure we know that the cis woman knows what's best for Lili.) "There's nothing wrong with me." / "That's not true." (What an awful thing to say to someone.) "I believe it, too." (Gerda's eventual validation in front of a doctor is the key moment to allowing Lili to get surgery.) "You sketch me better than I was. You made me beautiful. Now you're making me strong as well." (Lili even credits Gerda with empowering her.)
And on and on and on. The film also lingers on showing how Gerda teaches Lili how to put on stockings, how she helps her choose her feminine outfits, how she suggests the first "performance" as Lili, how she, at every turn, has the power in the relationship. While I have no problem believing that Gerda Gottlieb was a woman unafraid to be herself and express herself, most accounts I've read of her relationship with Lili suggest something other than this damaging, almost parasitic back and forth. Lili's one true act of rebellion, her final surgery (in the film), [there are no spoilers here, because I told you not to see the movie to begin with] kills her. Gerda is shown to be the one hurt here. It's all about the cis woman's feelings. After Gerda calls Lili her husband, over and over and over, Lili apologizes.
When Lili is not being herded or cajoled or otherwise controlled by Gerda, she seeks out other cis people for validation, including Hans and the man she took as lover in Copenhagen.
What this eventually gets across is the value of the cis woman as an arbiter of the trans woman's life, not a mirror, not a complement, not a lover, but a master. Gerda is shown (I suspect inaccurately) as defining Lili, and because the film falls so heavily in the camp of Gerda, so sympathetic to her "suffering," it suggests that Gerda's role as gatekeeper is rightful. It reinforces the idea that cisgender people have the right to tell transgender people when, where, how, and why they can transition.
That is harmful information for a transgender person, especially one who is not yet confident in their trans-status.