I just got out of a 5 year relationship about a month ago. Even though I've known for a while now that we would break up due to incompatibility, it still stings because he was the one who finally pulled the plug. I feel like I did my best to meet his expectations and desires in the relationship whereas he barely put any effort into meeting mine. I should've been the one to pull the plug, I feel like it's harder to move on as the dumpee. It doesn't help that he's done the "flip a switch" thing and seems super cheery and happy.
I don't know how to start dating again. I never did, tbh. I met my ex when I was in my first year at uni. I never got the chance to casually date or explore.
I've always been chubby, and I do make sure to eat healthy and try to get some exercise, but both of us let ourselves go in the relationship and I am having such a hard time looking in the mirror and accepting that I am nearly 30 and look the way I do. Stress from under circumstances in my life has caused me to have a lot of premature greys, combine that with being a bit too big and a bit too depressed, I feel like I look at least 10 years older than I should. I don't know if anyone will look past that and want to date me. I can't find the motivation to start working on myself and putting my best foot forward. I just feel so defeated.