Please help me understand, cos i don't really get the point: why were you sending her to college to be educated, if the expectation is that she's not going to do anything with it and just be a housewife? That's a lot of money to waste, if the aim is to not use the skills that are learned there.
What did you think college was for? It's supposed to help young people educate themselves, learn to be an individual and explore the world that's bigger than the small piece you offered. It sounds like your daughter made a few discoveries of her own when she got the space to grow on her own. That's not misusing your money. That's applying your funds exactly how they're supposed to be used.
You feel lied to, but consider that your daughter feels that exact same betrayal from your side. She was scared to tell you but once she did, you're proving her that she took all the right steps to not approach you and protect herself. She's been dealing with some intense emotions and she couldn't rely on her parents for questions or support. No funds now and being called a liar. That doesn't sound very loving.