Wow...it's so nice to know that there are some awesome dads out there in the world. Not that my dad was bad or the worst...I know there are worse dads than mine, nevertheless it's nice to know there are dad's that try.
Things done right:
Migrated to a "Western/European" country for better way of living, education and job opportunities. I am so glad I didn't grow up where my mum and dad did.
The bought me some awesome coloring in pens what could change color.
He got a family computer (back when computers were actual boxes) and a program to teach me how to touch type. Super useful skill in this day and age.
For the 2 weeks at a time...maybe twice in one year he would be around. He started and would continue a very long drawn out bedtime story one which was Kane and Abel by Jeffery Archer told over 2-3 years. I remembered every moment of those story times and he would forget where he left off I would remind him what had happened. Strange story to start telling a child I was about 7 years old.
Comforted me after I had a nightmare. Literally high pitch screamed myself awake from a nightmare and he came in and hugged me and told me it was just a bad dream.
What I've learnt about him now that I'm older:
He wants love, family and acceptance. Unfortunately he spent so long trying to sort out that with his brothers and sisters that he didn't realize he neglected his own wife and children.
He grew up poor. This has greatly impacted is own self esteem, worth and how he treats others. Because of this he expresses his love by giving money to me. This is how he provides for me as a father by giving me money to live. Something his parents didn't/couldn't do.
Sadly, he is a lot more misogynistic and closed minded than he thinks he is.
He is actually quite racist towards...well anyone who isn't "white"...and we're nowhere close to having Caucasian genes in our family history. It's weird.
Wish he did things differently...there's a lot but the ones that have effected me the most:
Don't angry, yelling, shouting, screaming, breaking dishes, argue at your spouse...note this is not arguing with...he was arguing at...basically his way is always the right way. Treat your spouse well...it where kids will learn how they should expect to be treated people in general. I remember briefly seeing dad as a hero...that didn't last long... I have some serious trust and communication issues because of this... also on more than one occasion he 'threatens' to leave/divorce my mum? I'm still trying to figure that one out.
Take the time to explain things. Why you feel a certain way. Why through personal experience a particular method is better and another. Give an explanation and reason. My dad still can not do this. When he is upset about something or insists his way is the right way and gets frustrated when I don't accept that without an explanation, he cannot give me an answer as to what upset him or why he's right. He gets angry and spends the next hour lecturing me about how he's always right and I shouldn't question him. ... probably a good thing he wasn't around when I was a kid.
Accept me/my personality for the unique wonderful parts. Tell me I'm beautiful and when you're proud of me. Don't compare my faults or achievement with other kids. Because of this I thought I was never good enough, smart enough, pretty enough no matter how hard I tried. ... maybe when I was a toddler he gave positive feedback ... but in my 29+ years I cannot recall any positive feedback or compliment...wait I think he may have said one of my sculptures was "alright" but that painting over there is better...backhanded compliments. I've actually bet myself the only time he will tell me I'm beautiful is if he ever sees me in a wedding dress.
...sorry about the rant...I guess what I wish most is that he grew and learnt as a dad with my sister, bro and myself. I wish he was around doing the best he could to spend time with us. I would have been happy with more than one bedtime story.
Good luck, I reckon you'll already be a better dad than most.