As a child of a toxic mother (she fits the pattern of BPD, I'm only very freshly coming to terms with this), and as a mom myself to a 2 1/2 year old daughter, I think a boundary and clarification needs to be brought forth. I don't know if anyone will read this, but oh well.

I'm reading some of this and suddenly feeling like "oh shit, am I traumatizing my child?!" But here's the thing: as a parent who encourages body positivity and openness, I have no problem with nudity or the human body, and I parent in age appropriate ways that still respect her wishes. My daughter is at the age where she is curious and I am not going to teach her to be ashamed of her body. I never speak negatively about my body or anyone else's bodies, and am very matter of fact about how things work. The boundary here that needs to be addressed is that our parents didn't respect our clear discomfort and didn't discuss bodies and sexuality in a healthy way. Nudity itself and sexuality itself aren't inherently bad, but they can be used as weapons by someone who exhibits low self-esteem, selfish or controlling behaviour.

The commonality I'm reading in these posts isn't directly about the sexuality itself (although, obviously ew), but the fact that our parents disregarded our wishes, didn't listen to our needs, and disrespected our own autonomy. Right now, my daughter wants me in the bathroom with her while she's on the toilet. She sometimes walks in while I shower and talks to me. We share a change room when we go swimming. But if she says, "mom, I need my space/privacy", I would respect that. Not say "oh I'm your mother, I have seen you naked, there's no need for me to leave." That is the glaring difference between healthy parenting and toxic parenting. Making your actions about what is best for your child, not about what you feel like in that exact moment.

Important parenting rule that every toxic parent doesn't acknowledge: It isn't about you.