talk therapy

What did you do for talk therapy?

I've tried exercise. I've tried eating well.

What do you mean by "tried". For any real impact, these need to be lifestyle changes, not just "testing it out one in awhile". Same goes for meditation.

I've tried maximum dose Zoloft

I've tried many antidepressants and the only one that remotely worked was Wellbutrin. I stopped Welllbutrin though because it wasn't nearly as effective as Adderall. Have you ever been treated with stimulants before? I think it would be something to really consider. I would have probably already killed myself if not for Adderall. It helps my mood, focus, clarity of thought, attention span, self-control, etc.

I'm currently trying Venlafaxine

This could be a major factor as to why you are feeling shitty. First of all, I remember my psychiatrist saying SNRI's are much more "heavy duty" than normal anti-depressants. And he said that with a negative connotation and encouraged me to try stimulants and psychotherapy instead.

Second, Venlafaxine has been shown to have the highest risk of suicide. I can send you more research on it if you want.

DBT? Doesn't seem like it'd be applicable to me.

Although DBT is mostly used for populations with severe personality disorders and addictions, I would say that everyone can benefit at least a little from it. You can find some self-help DBT resources online, but the actual therapy is much more effective.

psychotherapy (anyone here have experience with that?

Yes. I've done a few years of psychotherapy. With my old therapist it was fucking awesome tbh. I didn't know I could be so motivated to change myself when I felt valued and when somebody believed in me. The way you described how you feel in social interactions is very similar to how I feel. Therapy helped in that sense for me because I could talk about the heavy things nobody ever wants to talk about, someone finally gave me the benefit of the doubt, and I was able to get emotionally attached without feeling like there was going to be repercussions (abandonment, being used for sex, etc.). Thing is, you have to find the right therapist or it's basically fruitless IMO. I'm seeing a new therapist and it's totally not working. If I had never experienced the amazing outcome of the therapy I had with my old therapist, I probably would never ever try therapy again. A good therapeutic relationship vs a bad therapeutic relationship is the difference between feeling reinvigorated or feeling even more aimless. If you can find a good therapist that does DBT and psychotherapy, you'll be golden.