Dealing with friend with questionable social skills?

Well. Have you discussed this with them? What have you said? And how did they react? What do you want to happen, what change do you want to see? What is it that frustrates you? I think you will have to make that clear to yourself first.

Now, story/speculation time: The behavior you describe here seems to indicate that the other person is indeed upset about something in their relationship with you. It seems like they want something from it that they are not making clear for fear of rejection, and they think you owe it to them to give them whatever it is because friends.

If they can't express their needs but can't handle them not being met either, and they are somehow ashamed of who they are enough to want to hide it between a more 'impressing' front of stoicism, and if you are as important to them as they say you are (for whatever reason), they are going to have a hard time being in your company on account of all that inner conflict going on.

I'm not sure there is a lot you can do for them in except try as hard as you can to be honest and respectful about what behavior you'll accept and what you won't, and stick to that. You can still be there for them, but no longer accept some things they do, for whatever reason they may invoke. Don't make excuses for them and don't accept any either. This is pretty advanced communications, so you'll have to be assertive and maybe use non violent communication techniques. Yet be blunt if you have to because this kind of toxic relationship can be draining.

You taking some distance may even be what the other person needs to learn that they must create their own sense of validation and not bribe/blackmail other people into validating them.

Good luck, hope it works out, much love!

Source: was that guy.

/r/socialskills Thread