This is rough and I feel for you.

Toddlers thrive on routine. So even tho the environment changes they know what to predict. Such as sitting in the chair at the table etc. It also helps to have a separate bag of small toys/activities/snacks etc that they only get when at a restaurant so they are excited as well as engaged. We have the fidget spinners, color wow, magnetic blocks, dinosaurs, a truck, stickers and a coloring pad as well as small snack favorites in color pouches as a color activity. We also have resulted to a tv show on my phone and honestly, I regret nothing. Toddlers also love to explore. Something that helps us with being in a small town, is there is only a couple restaurants that we know a lot of the owners or are friends with those that work there. We take our son in there even when we aren’t eating so that he gets use to the environment and the only change in it would be the people. At the restaurant if our toddler gets restless something we’ve done is greet tables. The whole restaurant was ecstatic to participate. He got high-fives, lots of silly faces, waves, clapping which made him absolutely ready to sit down when our food hit the table. He even yelled fooooodd when he saw her put it down. This also gave him a task to do which he took very seriously lol. Something that has also helped us is ordering ahead of time and asking for a table as well. That way our food is already cooking (so less time at the table) as we are loading in the car on the way to the restaurant. If you are meeting friends have them arrive early and order for you so there’s less sitting and waiting. I also recommend considering bringing a stroller in. This may sound crazy but at one point my toddler loves loading the stroller up with all his things and laid in it the whole time, even played peek a boo with the table next to us through the mesh.

And if all else, changing up where you eat. Take your food to go. We’ve done the beach or park picnics and even gone to the playground. We also have a board walk with lots of outdoor tables that aren’t designated to a restaurant so we’d even take our food to go and eat there.

But even with all that said, take a deep breathe and let go of those expectations of behaving in public. Toddlers are learning and have no idea what they are doing at this stage which can be really overwhelming to us parents specially if there’s glares, snickering or feels of regret. We can guide them through this chaos and come out the other side. It may seem hopeless at the moment but keep your chin up you got this!