Dear BrMos: Help me, for the love of all that's holy.

I have fallen in and out of love/lust/like with so many people while with my husband that it's ridiculous. And I realize it's because you really can't help how you feel about anyone. And then I realize that when you're with someone and they're otherwise pretty ok for you, sometimes love is a choice, and time and time again I chose to love my husband over potentially throwing it away all because of someone that could have been, a life that could have been - the grass is greener, and I'd be bitching and complaining about that other person if I had been with them instead, or if I left my husband for them and tried to pursue some kind of long-term relationship. The honeymoon phase of a relationship goes to shit eventually and you're in the doldrums again, with anyone. Anyone.

Now you say emotional affair, so does that mean you've acted upon your emotions by telling the other individual? Are you talking to this individual and lamenting about the life you could have had with them? If so, and you want to be with your husband, and you want to keep having that marriage with your husband, you have to stop. You really do. And you'll feel hellishly heartbroken over it, but that's making the choice to love your husband over anyone. That's choosing to cut that string of love with anyone else. That is choosing to persevere in your current relationship and saying silently that you love your husband, even if you don't feel very in love with him right now, even if you don't even feel love at all whatsoever right now. It comes back. Saying no to yourself, your feelings, that other person, makes it easier to say no next time, and the time after that, etc.

/r/breakingmom Thread