3. Dear lonely people of Reddit, how are you?

Dear lonely people of Reddit, how are you?

Well, first off i'm on the autistic spectrum and I have pretty much hated myself for it since middle school, because the moment you tell anybody about it you're instantly condescended to and never taken seriously. Sure, I'm not anywhere near as bad as i used to be and I can seem fairly normal, but I still have weird ticks and rituals I do when I'm not around others, that I also hate myself for. I feel like I literally have to repress a ton of things about myself to fit in, and I want to, because it's always better to be part of a collective than someone whose out of ordinary. I want to enjoy partying, and I want to have fun in social events and do things that other people do, but it's just such a fucking chore and it's hard to keep everything under control because I'm developmentally disabled pretty much.

secondly, my group of friends all have girlfriends and stopped hanging out with me, my best friends GF is extremely emotionally immature and hates me for not siding with her all the time, and my friend is too much of a fucking pussy to break up with her, and he's cheated on her with 3 different girls multiple times, so his gf just gets crazier every time she inevitably finds out. On top of that I'm a virgin and have never done anything with a girl, even kissing, and every time a girl has showed interest in me I just completely fuck everything up, even if I pick up on some girls hints, I still have no idea how to react, and I'm too sensitive to have any degree of self confidence, and dating too me feels just like business. I always feel like I have to have absolute self control so as to not seem like a complete overly quirky fucking weirdo, and girls seem to be good at picking up on that stuff, and I feel like I'm being evaluated every time I have any degree of social interaction with them. I'm not bad at just talking to them casually, but everything changes when it gets even slightly romantic or whatever.

Lastly I had to withdraw from a precalc class because I failed the first test and didn't memorize unit circle shit because I'm an idiot, so there goes more of my parents money, and now I'm just procrastinating on chem homework, and i'm 20, have no job experience, or drivers license either.

So basically it fucking sucks.

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