Reading this whole subreddit, everything hits so close to home. As in the abuser way... I had one relationship so far in my life and I always used to think she had borderline. I dumped her, she was devestaded and texted me for longer than a year. When she lost interest in me, that was the moment I regained interest in her. I texted her and texted her, but she was so over me, she told me things about when we still were together that she didn't tell before, because she knew I would get mad and deny it. And honestly, I was baffled by it. I always had the feeling that our relationship was great, because she was so crazy about me.. And that the only thing bad about me, I felt, was that I dumped her. "Why would you want me if I was so abusive" was my exact response.
I can honestly say that I never had the feeling of abusing her, but now, a few years later, thinking back of everything and going through this subreddit...
Back then I thought I was perfectly normal, now I know that it was me that was the problem.
Now we're 3 years later since we've been together, and I am still trying to figure out whether I loved her, or loved the fact that she loved me.
I honestly don't know, and I have no idea what will become of my next relationship now that I know all of this.
Reading this subreddit, I want to emphasise that lots of narcissts have no idea what they're doing. I