Alright but this is gonna suck and take a bit but I'm at logan airport and have to kill some time
I was born to a poor woman because her husband raped her and she couldn't psychologically bare another abortion. I was the last one of my siblings and they are much much older than me. I spent my early years in a project complex in far east Texas. I was always fully aware of the conditions I was born into but paid it no mind. We were a family and my biological was out of the picture at that point. Some back story. They were married and pregnant by the time they would have been starting high school. Mom dropped out and dad got a diploma. He went to some college and got some sort of degree but before he could do anything he turned to drigs and alcohol. Mom was uneducated and stuck but she got a shit job and held the family down. Fast foreward to her pregnancy with me and at about 6months pregnant my mom was dragged out of our unit naked by her hair by my drunken and enraged father. The last straw. After that day she told him he would never come near her again. I learned all this from her at an excruciatingly young age. It's hard to deal with knowing your inner self is some odd combination of strength of will and desire to dominate come from these two people while being completely lost in my head. It's weird to know that I have some of them in me rattling around timid and shy, reckless and irrational. The best parts I like to think but I could just be filling myself. That is a trait they both share in fact. So, with him out of the picture my life was different from my siblings. I never saw any of that. They did. I had did live with the aftermath. A broken mother and tough but loving brothers and sister that spoiled me as much as they could and for poor folk that's not much but to a poor kid it was a loving family. They made me stronger than steel. At about five years old I starting getting raped but two different men in my complex or around it; it's hard to remember now. I was a sexual cold and knew about sex but didn't quite understand what was happening to me and suffered for it later in life. During the year they did this to me I was also run over by a car, almost assaulted violently but my big bros straightened that out real fucking quick; no one and I mean no one fucks with their baby brother. And the midst traumatic was a gang showed up to a quincenera and sprayed bullets at the families leaving the hall. Unfortunately, we were the first ones in our car and directly in front of their headlights. Fish in a barrel yo. It was the first time I remember meeting my Dad. It was an important thing so my mom allowed him to go with us. He took a bullet in the leg which didn't phrase me. My mom took a bullet to head. It was the last thing I saw when she pushed my down and covered me with my jacket. Darkness.
She survived because the caliber, distance, and windshield kept the bullet from entering into her skull too deeply. But I could never be quite the same. It was the last couple of months I lived in projects because my oldest brother; whom I refer to as my Father; decided fuck all that we're moving. That's when he became truly the man he would always be. He was about 21 and had been working since he was fifteen. Worked his ass off for all of us and our gratitude is evident and immense. He took us or of that but he felt most important,well they all did, was to get me out. They never knew about the rapings. Not until I was in a psychiatric center at 18 after an attempted suicide. You wanna get personal? It doesn't get much more personal than that. They all showed up to the psyche center. Even my brother in the military. He's a military machine minded person and tougher than nails. He wept like a child when I explained to them all what I had suffered and had to deal with. I lifetime of depression, psychotic behavior, guilt, lack of confidence, solitude unbearable, and watching my own mother suffer more than I. They all wept and I loved them just a bit harder after that. I guess that's all I have to say at this point. I'm a better person for all my struggles. I'm stuck at O'hare for the night so I'll add some pics and shit.
Tl;dr I'm a good father, I'm a good husband, I'm a good to people, and most importantly I know how to have fun. Not sure if that answers anything but it's my story and I'm good with it.