Victim here, 30F now. When I was 6-9, my half-brother, who is 20 years older, humped, groped, and eventually raped me (for years). He threatened to kill me, and told me to consider how it would hurt my mother if I disappeared.

Eventually I told my sister (10 years older), and she told my mother. My mother and brother proceeded to laugh about "the shit kids say", until my sister threw a complete shit-fit about how she couldn't ignore it. God bless her. My mother proceeded to guilt me for years about "the trouble" I caused, and used the fact that I never gave any details as "proof" that maybe I "misunderstood." "He could have killed himself, did you think about that?" He lived with us and generally terrorized me until 16, but the rapin' stopped.

I was a complete mess. Thankfully I got into a really good school and was held to high standards there and made good friends. I had planned to kill myself when I was 15, but made an agreement with myself that I was probably not in a good state of mind, and agreed with myself that I could kill myself at 25 if I still wanted to.

I became an extremely "rational" individual, completely unemotional except for the crying anytime I was home and suicidal thoughts. Good grades, college, law school. No one knows.

I was always extremely depressed and extremely anxious, used to vomit from anxiety just from being at work. Terrified of men, I've only ever dated extremely boring, non-threatening guys. Sexually repressed, I run away from any guy I'm actually attracted to. I feel hopeless most of the time generally.

I was in therapy for a year and a half, it helped a little. I can actually relax sometimes, though I still struggle to hold down a job because of the crippling anxiety.

I'm basically in heart-racing, fight-or-flight mode 90% of the time.

Eh. Yeah, don't rape kids.