Have decided to resign.

Thank you for your advice. I have been on the fence about how to go about it, leaning towards the angle you suggested, and now sure that I absolutely must do that.

I already tried to get help with the stress I was enduring. And guess what? He (not a she) followed me up to the supervisor's office and eavesdropped on our entire conversation. How do I know this? A few ways, including the obvious theater that started in response to one accusation I made. He's gone into damage-control mode. Let's say I told the supervisor he likes oranges more than apples. Since that day he'll do the equivalent of standing in front of my desk with an orange talking about how much he loves oranges, and how he can't wait to eat it, and he'll have a buddy come by and drop an orange off every day and both of them talk about how great oranges are.

Obviously this is not the thing going on but an analogy if you will. There have been several other key indicators as well of the fact that he eavesdropped on this conversation where I was venting and I am still in shock about it. Since then he's been gunning for me non-stop, at least that's what it feels like to me. He's pissed, because how dare I speak against the great N, oh so powerful and revered as he is-- and he's been using his influence to turn team members against me and embarrass me in little ways. I am not emotionally strong enough to deal with this.

I don't even blame him, I realize, when I look at the situation closely! With pained chagrin I must take responsibility for the fact that my own naivete about "the laws of the jungle" set this in motion. It's my lack of inner strength that is pushing me out the door. They want me to come back. I have the support of people at the top, my job performance has been more than satisfactory, or so I've been told. My one misstep was pissing off this self-appointed alpha N.

Anyway, I don't know how long the support at the top would last given that I'm in the crosshairs of this guy. There's enough evidence already of how much time and energy he is willing and able to devote to meddling and politicking. And the main thing is that I just can't stand to look at him again, knowing how sneaky he is being behind the scenes, all the while expecting friendliness and smiles and warmth and attention from me!!! And further punishing me in subtle ways, when I don't send such positive vibes his way. I am afraid that if I saw him again my whole body would shake with anger and I could possibly be provoked to assault him if he gets in my face with his fake polite meandering chit chat. I recognize that I mainly need to resign as a preemptive act of escalation prevention.

TL;DR Bridge already burnt I think. Just need to get out before I set myself afire. I'm going to use more or less the exact phrasing you suggested.

Thanks for reading!

/r/ManagedByNarcissists Thread Parent