Definitive Portland Tipping Guide

Then, tomatoes, I guess, extra onions. Dipping my hand into the hot peppers made the numerous small cuts on my fingers sting. "More! More! Pile it high and deep!" The customer was almost yelling. I shoved a fistful of onions into the bread, spilling half of them on the floor. Salami grease made the floor slippery. Not my problem, I slid it all under the counter with my toe. This paper hat was really making my scalp dry. Crusty. I gotta get some anti-dandruff shampoo. Or really just any shampoo, I thought. That sandwich done, I was due for a break. The itching has abated some, but my bathroom routine was to take down my pants (I don't wear underwear because it's unsanitary) and scratch, and scratch, and scratch! All around my crotch, front and back, was an itchy rash. Oozing chancres. What was that from? Some kind of terrible infection. Maybe guinea worm or herpes... I hadn't cut my fingernails in a few weeks. The scabs and skin piled up under my nails. Small creatures scuttled around the wet floor. It felt wonderful to get some relief. My bowels tumbled and growled. Liquid churned below. The toilet was a mess, it looks like the night shift guys didn't clean it like they were supposed to. There was no toilet paper, either, so I scraped my ass as much as I could with my hands and just pulled my pants back up. The warm wet felt good on my sores. I went to wash my hands but I heard the door ding. No time. There was no soap anyway. I did, however squeeze most of the pus out of the large sore on my lip. I straightened my apron and flashed a winning smile in the cracked mirror. I had an image to maintain. I was, after all, an artist.

/r/Portland Thread Parent