Hey there! I am so happy to hear from you, And, I am so sorry for taking so long to get back to you. I'll explain in a bit.

You are so incredibly strong and resilient, as well as astonishingly sweet and forgiving, which all can be summed up as you having a beautiful heart. I'm very proud of you for taking this step with your father, and proud you are still hanging in there and you made a tough decision to stop smoking. Especially in these circumstances. I know that I haven't really taken this leap yet with my mom, and I don't know if I would have the guts, that I would stand my ground. I don't know even now how confident I am in my ability to withstand her abilities to manipulate me, especially given the way that manipulation generally is accomplished.

I realize you are having a really rough time with how the situation now stands and the responses you received from your father. I totally understand the sentiment you shouldn't have said anything to begin with, and I am so sorry for the understandable guilt you shared with me.

Let me just tell you something really quickly first to make this make more sense. I always enjoy reading your messages and I re-read them several times, but this one is moreso than the others, including the way it has got me to thinking about my own thoughts and struggles spurred by the things you shared that came up with your father. Like, a lot. As well as what I might be able to share with you that may be able to help you. Of course, if you wish, I'll share with you anything you might think to ask about my thoughts, experiences, how they have affected me and how I experience the consequences now, et., but the sheer volume of what I've been thinking in regards to your situation would take a long time to get it down on the page and get to you, but I'll try to keep it short and make it make sense. Bear with me if I talk too much, or too much about something that seems a little bit of a stretch to relate to this here and now. I'll do my best.

So, in answer to one of the last things you said In your message, yes, it's likely there's at least a little manipulation of you going on here. I don't think if there is, it's necessarily intentional, and well could be just years of bad habit or a number of other things. Some of the things in regards to being brainwashed are plain gaslighting in my opinion.