I'm no expert but I've been in a bad dental situation. Not sure if this will help but I'll give some details:

About 6 years ago I had major decay in probably 8 teeth, 3 other teeth pulled completely, 1 wisdom tooth removed, 1 molar crown needed, 3-4 route canals, another molar pulled + bone graft, and countless small fillings. I spent probably $15,000 over the course of 6-10 months. It was most of my paycheck and I was living on top ramen at the time and had to dip into my Roth to pay rent at the end. But it changed my life. I couldn't smile without revealing black holes of my teeth before. Hopefully yours isn't quite so bad!

My dentist worked at a small office with one other dentist and one hygienist. Small place, recommended by a friend.

I just explained my situation and asked for a thorough examination so we could plan on fixing them all. She got a list together for the next visit and we planned on one big fix each month and filling nearby teeth while still numb. It was a great plan. The list she provided had codes that you could reference on your insurance info for each operation, although I didn't have insurance anyway.

I am not familiar with dental insurance but you might want to consider finding a reputable place (maybe ask some friends or family who regularly see their dentist). They might be able to work with your insurance anyway. I know there are two major providers here and my dentist works with one even though they aren't listed on the insurance company's website.

For your rotten wisdom tooth, I've been there. Mine was impacted and the molar it was smashing into formed a cavity between them. My dentist referred me to an oral surgeon for that (and only one other) operation. I wouldn't be surprised if that had to be referred out and that's potentially much more expensive. But in my case at least it was only $400.

Just go with local anesthesia for everything because general anesthesia is really expensive. $400 or more if I recall correctly.