Try enclomiphene and DHEA to block SGHB increasing free testosterone. It really sounds like you have low T or at least average T and low free Testosterone. “Shooting up.....” tf kinda of attitude is that shit. Here’s a fact if you can’t offer something of value to someone they have no reason to give 2 fucks about you fr. You’re only entitled to superficial respect by virtue of your existence. Respect the sentience of other people in your mind. Fuck your ego & calm your hatred, accept your current position and abandon your frustration. Meditate on that dude, death is no consciousness, that internal frustration and hatred is fucking with you. Ask yourself who are you indiscriminately angry at, learn empathy & accept rejection. We all have this thing called life bro.