I think after you've been through so much trauma it's natural to struggle to cry. If you've had to be strong for so long, put a brave face on, and suffer in silence, it can be really hard to actually relearn how to reconnect with all those pent up emotions you've had to burry so deep, and let learn to let out some of the sadness out that's been accumulating for years.

What you've been through sounds absolutely horrific, and it's going take time start healing. You've come to realise that what that girl did to you was massively abusive and damaging - and I think that's the first step to recovery: identifying the source of all that trauma, and acknowledging that the person who did that to you was very abusive.

I also think it's really good you've reached the point where you can open up about the trauma.

I think it would be be a really good thing if you could continue to open up and talk about your experiences with a professional therapist, councillor or similar over many sessions. Maybe try a few, until you find someone who makes you feel really at ease. I think the best way to reconnect with your emotions will be to gradually let some of that pain out, until it reaches a level your body and mind can process. I think, at the moment, it sounds like there's just too much to cope with. But, if you keep letting it out, and keep talking about it to the right people, you'll reach the point when you can reconnect with your emotions.

I think your post was really brave. Keep fighting those demons - keep dragging them out into the light of day, where they can't survive for long. Don't let them hide away inside, where they'll eat away at you.

Best of luck!