Your not stupid, and you didn't lose intelligence. It seems like you did, but it's still there. Intuition is an emotional process. We come to understand the world through feelings. We see it in our language. does this make sense? This doesn't feel right. Sense. Sensation. Listen to your gut. Etc. When we feel overwhelming emotions like anxiety, our intuition becomes a servant of the anxiety, searching for an immediate way out, which in my case having ocd, a compulsion. Depression isn't an illness, it is a symptom. Anhedonia is the result of negative associations, most of which happen subconsciously. Our lives become filled with unhealthy, and unresolved problems ridden dynamics, which even if consciously ignored, effects us subconsciously. Actually it is when the issues aren't consciously registered that they gnaw away at us. And it is because of this that we need people we can vent to. You failed out of college, so did I. It makes me depressed to think about how I and my life went from what it used to be to what it is. I have to make this short because the library I am writing this at is about to close, so I can't really express what it is I want to express. But I can definitely relate to what you're saying. Beneath all the baggage that has piled up in your life, is an ambitious spirit.