I desire belonging but am too afraid to set down roots.

I also find the memories to be the core of the bond. Part of my exhaustion comes from the shift from a constant feeling of needing to move on to a heavy nostalgia. At once I can remember the urge to leave each place as well as dream of having stayed there.

The thing I always admire about others is the way there life seems partly dictated by their surroundings. They are really "in" their life, and that's the home-element to me. Some people seem like caricatures of their culture - I don't mean that in a bad way, it seems like an enormous source of comfort for them. Others are more rooted in the real stuff of their life, such as family and long relationships. Without a default background that is provided through childhood or family, I feel like I need to choose something that others are given. On the one hand, this can be a great thing, but on the other the choosing seems almost impossible.

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