Freeze Peaches - The tale of /r/announcements

Starring:

• Ellen Pao as Herself.
• Nicolas Cage as Satiric Redditor.
• Anna Kendrick as Average Redditor.
• Danny McBride as /r/fatpeoplehate subscriber.
• Ty Burrell as Weatherman.

Music composed by: Trent Reznor.

The sun rises on the morning of the 10th of June. Ellen Pao wakes up, stretches her arms and walks to her computer, all while putting on her CEO hat.

Average Redditor: "Dear Ms. Pao, /r/fatpeoplehate subscriber has been harassing me. He's followed me to all of my posts and down-voted me and even doxxed me. Please take care of this."

Ellen Pao: "Right on it! I'll fix this for you."*

Ellen Pao closes /r/fatpeoplehate.

Weatherman: "This just in... Get your buckets of popcorn and umbrellas, as a huge shtstorm is brewing!"*

/r/fatpeoplehate subscriber: "What the fck is this sht? You Nazi mods are destroying this site. This is discrimination. You conspiring Jews can't take this from me. This is worse than Hitler and the Holocaust. Now I can't bully people on the internet. Fck you, Ellen Pao!"*

Satiric Redditor: "MY FREEZE PEACHES! WHERE ARE MY FREEZE PEACHES!?

/r/fatpeoplehate subscriber: "I'M GOING TO VOAT EVERYONE! LOOK AT ME! I'M GOING TO VOAT. GOODBYE EVERYBODY. SCREW THIS SITE. I'M GOING TO VOAT."

fin