most amazing weight loss treatment EVER!!!
okay, this one is mostly for the ladies, because we're moving into spring and spring is diet season because summer is just a few months down the road. i stumbled on this while i was doing work for my biology course and partly doing research online and even though it was pretty rough it worked like magic for me.
a little bit of backstory: i was chubby from the time i was in elementary school. not like massively obese, but i was definitely more than 5 or 10 pounds overweight. other than that i wasn't ugly or anything, and i could clean up pretty well when i wanted to, but with that added weight it was really hard to get a date, and that didn't jive so well with me. i like partying. i like going out and having fun and being around people, and my body was really just holding me back. and you have to believe me when i say i tried everything. no carb diets. all fruit diets. veganism. i even did some really needlessly dangerous things like chew&spit (i could never bring myself to throw up) or just flat-out starving myself. none of it ever worked anyway.
fast forward. i'm in college, and we're doing a brief unit on parasitism. i know exactly what you're all thinking, and yeah, yeah i will admit it: the second i discovered that you could use parasites, like, tapeworms and stuff, as a weight loss aid i went and started digging.
the thing is, it turns out that it's not really as dangerous as they make it out to be?
i read so many forums, and it seems like there were only two kinds of complications that people ended up with. either they overcompensated for what was being taken out and ended up gaining weight in the end, or they left it in too long and it made an exit on its own that ended in a trip to the hospital. it took a lot of studying and a lot of really careful planning, but eventually i sort of figured out how you could toe the middle of the line and not screw it up that badly. the trick seemed to be to starve the little sucker out. maximum weight loss, since you would be burning fat, (hopefully) none of the complications.
i know how bad this sounds. i really do. bear with me!
it turns out you can't really just BUY parasites to infect yourself with on amazon. that was where i hit my first snag. it took me a couple of weeks, and in the end i had to put up a craigslist ad before i got any leads at all. when i finally got a bite, i had to meet the guy in a really skeevy motel downtown to close the deal. i took them right there. it's definitely weird to think that you're intentionally introducing a parasite like a tapeworm into your body. weird and kind of gross at first, but you work past it eventually. it helped that the guy i'd bought them from was really appreciative and enthusiastic. kind of a pervert, but i was sort of expecting it, coming from craigslist.
i ended up having to go back to him two more times over as many months. it turns out that sometimes your body is able to fight off an infestation like that. after the third time it finally took. i know because i had been obsessively taking tests i was (admittedly) stealing from the bio lab. by then we'd already finished our unit on parasites, so no one ever knew they'd gone missing.
so where does this magic weight loss come in? it doesn't RIGHT away. it takes time for your new little friend to latch on in there enough to start siphoning nutrients. you WILL get nauseous. there's no avoiding it. at first mine was bad enough that i started keeping a trashcan by my bed so that in the morning i could roll out and empty my stomach right there.
it passes, though, after a few weeks!
you want to start taking vitamins right away. i admit i also cut way back on calories during this time, probably more than i should have, because i was paranoid about overdoing it and i figured as long as i was popping multivitamins i wouldn't get malnourished so badly that i ended up super sick.
and hey, it totally worked! i admit, there was a point where i experienced a little bit of hair thinning because i was apparently not taking enough vitamins. this was after about two months? i started adding more protein powder to my diet to offset it a little. i don't know if it helped or not but i never developed a huge bald spot so it was okay.
here's the thing about doing it this way: the results do take some time. i PROMISE YOU it pays off, though. it will vary a little, lady to lady, based on a whole huge bunch of things, but if you do it right at some point the weight will literally just melt off of you.
for me it was after about... five, six months?
it was a little scary and painful when i realized the parasite had finally died and was on its way out. i skipped class to hole up in the bathroom while it passed, and once the solids were out the rest of the built-up retained water was gone within another week. when it was all said and done i had dropped 20lbs and after another month or two of a good diet and lots more vitamins i was feeling well enough to start attending class regularly again.
i don't think you want to risk staying infected any longer than i did, is the thing. after that point the fetus is so developed it starts to show, and it's a lot bigger so it's harder to get rid of when you finally miscarry.
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