Dicks are so cute omg

Wario is the invert of Mario, the obese yellow-purple garlic loving man we all know and are indifferent to, however, one question has remained unanswered for decades. Wario’s first appearance was in Super Mario Land 2: the six golden coins. Wario was an antagonist because he fought to break from the union and get his own castle. Wario wanted liberty for those who joined him, and he wanted to break from the mushroom kingdom and create his own castle with its own system of government. We do not know if this system of government was planned to be libertarian based or not, but we know that peach has a monarchy and Wario did not want to be a part of that. The term “castle” for wario’s government building could’ve just been because at the time there was no word for parliament or anything of the sort, and castles look cool so why not base your government in one. The one thing that I believe ties the theory of Wario being a libertarian together is this: Wario needs funding. Throughout his time in the Wario land games, one of the main objects of the games is to collect as much gold and treasure as possible, although he says it’s to buy a castle, you get a castle anyway at the end of the game from a genie. So this leaves the question: what is the money used for? Wario is always seen with garlic close in hand and I believe that it is not only to ward off the vampires, but also as a status symbol in his new libertarian empire. The more money you have, the more garlic you can afford. Of course, I am no political expert and there is much evidence left untouched, so I leave it to the reader to decide whether Wario is a libertarian or not.

/r/teenagers Thread