Yeah, once I realized it was all about control, things got way better. Mind you, this happened last week that I realized this. It took some time for me.

The way she looked at me in irrational anger when I did something that defied one of her "rules" or "unspoken whims" was absolutely insane. It pissed her off and she would do anything to restore her sense of control. She was almost comical in her desperation. It makes sense though, that's the point of abuse. To control another person. To that end, her insanity made sense. But you can't force someone to love you so to that end I don't think she was ever satisfied with her handiwork. I'm assuming at this point my mom has BPD, though whether or not she was ever diagnosed I don't know.