I was frustrated in the beginning, too. How could I be gaining weight without thousands of extra alcohol calories a week?

But I was eating really weird when I drank. Basically eating nothing one day (can't let that pesky food get in the way of getting drunk) and then when the hangover caught up with my I'd binge. I hadn't eaten like a normal person in quite a while.

I let myself just eat how I felt like eating in the beginning. With my extra time, I started cooking more. I started naturally picking up some healthier habits, like having a glass of water here and there and going for walks.

A little into my second month of sobriety, I felt able/ready to start a diet. I have now lost some weight. I'm starting to regain a connection with my body instead of ignoring what it's telling me. It sounds so silly but last week there was a moment where I was sitting on the couch, feeling agitated, and I suddenly realized I was hungry so why didn't I eat something?? So I did and I felt better. It's like I was so used to ignoring my body that it didn't even occur to me to eat because I was feeling hungry.

In the past, I've tried to do a bunch of things at once. Like, "Tomorrow, I'll stop drinking, start losing weight, wash my face every night, read an hour every day, meditate and exercise every day." I'd make a big list of everything and I'd always end up failing.

This time, I put sobriety first and focused on that, and slowly the other things I want to change are clicking into place. So, for me, the focus on sobriety freed up time and allowed me to regain communication and connection with my body, which has in turn allowed other goals to happen a lot more easily. Our bodies and minds are still healing from the alcohol.

Anyway, I just wrote a novel. Holy crap. I don't know if that's helpful to you, but that's been my experience so far. Love you body :) and I won't be drinking with you today!