Did you change much after coming out? If so, how?

I don't think so, but this site has interesting info

http://www.aglp.org/gap/3_development/#ComingOut

Coming out often starts in young adulthood, but can begin at any age or stage of life. Acknowledging, acting on, and integrating same-sex feelings into one’s identity can be an exhilarating and terrifying process. Coming out can be accompanied by mood swings and impulsivity, much like a second adolescence, and might lead to an erroneous diagnosis of borderline personality disorder by an uninformed clinician.

Cass (1979, 1984) has described stages of coming out: Identity Confusion, Comparison, Tolerance, Acceptance, Pride, and Synthesis. While this provides some helpful framework, it must be noted that the process of coming out is often not linear, and individual gay people may not fit neatly into such models.

GLB people have internalized societal views of homosexuality (internalized homophobia, heterosexism), and often retain biased thinking and stereotypes about gay people (and by extension, themselves) even after they have apparently become comfortable with their identity. New situations and relationships can bring out these retained views, sometimes precipitating an identity crisis but also allowing for the possibility of further growth and maturity.

Drescher (1998) describes a gay male patient who came into treatment after his ten-year relationship had ended. The patient was a middle-aged man who had long felt comfortable with his gay identity. Yet when the relationship ended, he had the thought that it was because “gay relationships can’t last.” The end of this relationship had called into question any future relationships, and indeed his whole identity. He felt paralyzed and unable to do the practical things needed to move on from the relationship. When he became aware of how his internalized homophobia emerged around the breakup, the patient was able to sell the house he and his ex-partner had owned together and to move forward

So it seems psychologists / therapists understand there are various stages, but the "Confusion, Comparison, Tolerance, Acceptance, Pride and Synthesis" steps seem to only apply to inner feeliings. If I were to put coming out on that timeline, it would be between "tolerance" and "acceptance", and once you've been out for a few years and things settle down and you start shedding all the internalised stuff, you move into the "pride" stage. I don't know what "synthesis" means here; maybe it's when you're so cool with everything you just transform into an actual unicorn! lol

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