Why did you leave islam? Serious answers

Moral issues, in scientific and no logic.

Ive always doubted something in religion. Tho I never took it seriously.

I've always loved Space and dinosaurs Evere since I was a kid.

I would read a ton of books on dinosaurs and watch documentaries about space .

Well, I once thought why weren't dinosaurs mentioned in quran ? How is it possible that god forgot to mention about all the old creatures?

And space... The more I looked into big bang the more it seemed correct.

When I was around 11 we had lessons in space. Dumbass me wrote big bang is just a theory. However I still believe in it a bit. 12 years old me said bit bang is mentioned in quran, therefore it's true.

Anyway, when we had sex education in 6th grade. I started to doubt the fact my parents told me kids come from god. I did doubt this also when my friends at time in 4th grade joked about "sex" (yes very childish).

However, I still was a Muslim. I would pray a lot and fast.

Until.... Back in fall 2018. My dad tried to quit smoking. we kept praying for him (me and mom) but he only quiet for like a month. He returned. In that month he was more abusive than ever. He was always angry

I started to think prayers don't work.

Later in Beginning of summer 2019. My dad got a stroke.

His fucking addict asshole still smoked.

I would pray for him along with mom for him to quit and for him it get better.

But even tho i was his only child that visited him in the hospital in hope of making him feel better, he was a asshole to me who would still shout.

I said to my mom I won't pray anymore to him. I thought praying just doesn't work.

Well, here the doubts started to get stronger.

It's 7th grade now. We have biology.

I've always thought "if evolution isn't true, then how is there fossil proof for it ".

But now our awesome biology teacher explained how evolution works.

I knew it was true. You can't deny natrual selection or survival of fittest. And the fact bacteria became resistance to antibiotics is a literal proof of it.

I decided I was getting doubts and I should learn about islam more.

Oh boy, this made me a murtad.

Well. I kept looking pro islam things. I kept trying to connect scientific things to islam.

With mental gymnastics, it works.

I tho wanted to look at the opposite side of this. Anti islam.

Every fucked up thing seemed to be a hadith.so I said "let's just follow quran".

I started browsing this subreddit along with searching on google. I realized more and more islam is worng. However z I started to blame myself and say shytan is making me think like this (lmao).

Well, in 7rh graft I started to get in a dark place. I started isolating myself socially more and more.

There was 2 girls and 1 guy who were nice to me. I kept thinking how could they burn in hell just because they aren't Muslims ?

Untill I got sucidal thoughts. I was still Muslim. But I kept thinking "people who are suffering like me and do commit suicide, how is it fair that they go to hell ? Didn't got make them suffer like this ?"

I was still a Muslim but doubts were super strong.

I started to think bieng gay is ok if you don't act (yes I know fucked up) and Aysha was 19.

But... I thought why would god make gay people if they have to suffer is much and not act ?. That's just cruel.

I started to think how quran sounds like a fairy tail. Man talking to ants, people cutting a cow and other childish nonsense.

I told myself "god made quran childish like as a test, to see who will believe in it". I was a Muslim but more open minded now. I wanted to see both Islamic and non Islamic side of views.

I kept reading fucked uo things about Islam but denied it because mental gymnastics and me ignoring Hadiths.

However, this was one of the final straws.

It's February. I still was sucidal and I kept hating very second of my life because how isolated I was.

There is a girl from 6th grade who invited her to her b day party. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to go but I was afraid mom would tell me its haram.

Anyway I went. I was still shy but I had fun.

I left of there super happy, finally feeling included. I thought "how could this people burn in hell for eternity because they aren't Muslims?". "They literally helped me not feel isolated".

I Also though "why does god allow wars and cruelty or he is most merciful ? This can't be right. God is a asshole"

Sucidal thoughts stoped for few months. I felt so better thanks to them. I couldn't believe they were going to hell for eternity.

I tried to force myself out of Islam but I still prayed s bit

But.. I still thought I was kaffir mad will burn in hell.

Until mom confirmed Aysha was 9. I was shocked and couldn't believe it.

I decided to stop praying for real. I thought god can't be like this. He can't be so cruel and unscientific.

I left Islam for food.

Been a proud murtad since ramadan this year ✌️

However I miss bieng a Muslim. Praying was comforting and knowing that all suffering you go through is worth it.

I miss filling the void of loneliness with praying. I had Allah back then . But I know he isn't true.... The girl who invited me ghosted me everr since left on read lmao.

But atleast thanks to her I got out of Islam and could finally embrace evolution and space. I always loved this awesome shit since I was a kid.

Sorry if this comment is poorly structured, im short on time....

/r/exmuslim Thread