Thanks for the reply, I can tell you pit effort into it and I appreciate that.

I admit that you're right, to an extent I'm doing this to myself... The truth is I live a pretty busy life so it gets very hard to meet people the conventional way. I work a full time job and boxing has me training almost every week day. I'm also very introverted so once the weekend does finally come, often I want to just stay in and recover. Going out to do anything, whether it's volunteering or hanging out at a bar is very draining. I barely have enough energy to have fun in those cases, let alone flirt well enough to actually meet someone. I know the general advice is to go out and do what you love to meet people. But what do you do when you genuinely dont even want to go out? Every outing is forced and I know people can pick up that I'm not sincere which makes it even harder to make friends or meet possible partners.

I think that's where so much of my dissapointment is. Online dating seemed like the perfect solution for people in my boat. A way to to quickly meet people without having to go out every weekend or consuming too much time. Sadly the concept has just gone so rotten it's just a pipe dream these days. You mentioned that I go for superficial girls which I do sometimes, but I'm not just grasping for the low hanging fruit all the time. This experience happens even with girls who aren't conventionally attractive but had things like common interests. I make an honest effort to read their profile, put together a proper message, and honestly hope for a genuine relationship even if I'm not too physically attracted to them. I suppose just being a girl at all is enough to get many options of guys to pick from...

I do already volunteer on occasion, but have never met someone romantically. I want to start doing it more often after reading your reply now, but even if I do I don't want to go in trying to find someone. I know that's a bad mindset. Volunteering should be done out of honesty, not to try and pick up girls.

It's really kind of frustrating. People say not to pursue a relationship first, that you should try to make honest friends with girls first. I agree, it seems shallow to only want to talk with and associate with single girls I'm attracted to, even if I'm not trying to just hook up. But than they say not to go down the route of the nice guy friend zone. That you need to be honest with your feelings up front, which I also agree with. But than I just have no idea what to do.

I know you won't have all the answers for me. The only thing I can do is not give up I suppose. I mostly wanted to clarify some things that you mentioned.