i just - i don't know. it was super short and couldn't really be called a relationship at all since it was mostly based off physical attraction. but id be lying if i said i don't miss him. and part of that is probably just from the fact that he's so handsome.

maybe it's because it was the first time i had a real sexual experience with another real person, and i had never felt anything like it before, even if it was all online. i just grew so attached to him so quickly and i don't know if ill ever get that affection again from someone.

maybe I'll feel better after a couple days. it's just hard cause i can't stop thinking about him even though i know it wasn't real and shouldn't have even happened in the first place.