Oh hohohohoho. I have stories. They're fabulous. I feel your pain.
My mom is Russian (no matter how much she denies it, but that's a whole other can of worms) and also very Americanized, as well. So she has always had two types of expectations for me. 1) The old world standards and 2) the modern "you can do it all" standards. Also throw in the "non-western, immigrant mom who wants you to be everything she didn't have the chance to be" stuff. She wants me to be Superwoman. On a good day, she'll (indirectly, of course) imply that I am. On a bad day, she'll tell me (directly) how much I fail at everything I touch.
She wanted me to be able to do/be it all. Literally. I had been cleaning the entire house every Sunday since I was tall enough to safely load dishes and clothes, but I also needed to have perfect grades so I could be the first person in the family. I needed to know all the ins and outs of looking feminine, speaking feminine, using feminine mannerisms, table etiquette, serving others food, but I also needed to be able to assert myself, get multiple degrees in a STEM field, haggle for raises, do everything myself, including car maintenance, outperform male peers academically and look good while doing it.
For many years, this all confused and overwhelmed me. I felt like some of what she said was contradictory and/or I didn't always know which skillset to apply when. I felt like she kind of threw it all at me machine-gun style and then expected me to be able to magically sort it out. Well, I couldn't. She was raising me to thrive in her world and in a new one that she hadn't experienced. And she got mad at me when it didn't work out perfectly.
She was also extra hard on me, compared to my brother and anyone else, when I wasn't up to par. When I was 19, she admitted she gave me tough love when I was growing up because "it's harder to be a woman in this world, so you need to be harder and I made you that way". YET, she is staunchly anti-feminist, wants nothing to do with feminism, etc. She will say in the same paragraph as the above quote "I didn't raise you to be a bra-burning cow who hates men". She believes in pretty standard feminist beliefs and even cheers me on when I stand up for myself against sexism, but she'll fall over dead before calling herself a feminist. And she'd cry if I told her I was one. I'm not really sure what I am, but that's another story.
A lot of this is the classic immigrant mother stuff you will hear about and I commiserate with my girl friends in the same boat every now and then.
So yes, she has a lot of unfair and ridiculous expectations for me.
That being said, I wouldn't be who I am if it hadn't been for her being a pushy asshole. She did teach me how to stand up to men and how to not hate them at the same time. She did teach me how to be as feminine or masculine as I please, at will, when I feel the situation calls for it. She did teach me independence, a trait that got me out of an abusive marriage. She also taught me how to take care of myself physically and emotionally, not always by example of what to do, but sometimes by watching how she's hurt herself. She also taught me how to express my femininity and be comfortable with it in a way that a lot of my girl friends still struggle with.
So it's not all bad, really. She drives me up the wall, sometimes, but I feel like a tiny Superwoman in large part due to her influence.