I realised I've always had it about 3 weeks ago, some of my behaviors as a kid were.... Fucked up to say the least, id wonder throughout my life from 0-17 why everyone in my life seemed to abandon me then it just clicked, everytime a friend would complement someone besides me get mad at me for the smallest thing I'd take it as an "act of war" or become immensely jealous, for example my older brother has always been incredibly charismatic, everyone loves him etc look at it like Thor and Loki, when I was 12 I literally broke a kids arm all because he said my older brothers hilarious, I got so mad at him that I punched him in his mouth and broke his arm, the next couple of weeks I'd wonder why said person is distant and get incredibly depressed, rinse and repeat, when I turned 17 I self diagnosed myself as a psychopath however that wasn't the case as I still felt immense guilt about all the bad shit I do right after I do it anyways yada yada I go see a therapist and what do you know, BPD