To DH, it’s not normal for your sister to set up an invite solely to have your mother babysit. This has never been normal in the existence of humanity. Hinting around that your mom needs to watch your child out of necessity? Not asking you outright? This is not normal. Your sister coming to you to ask if your mom is babysitting? No, that’s not how it works. Your mom was suppose to ask, possibly as early as the day your sister invited you to the event. How many days have passed where your mother didn’t directly ask to babysit? How often has sister asked if your mother was though? Why is your sister so concerned about this? How is this affecting anyone involved?
Why is your dad so upset that your mother didn’t ask to babysit but is suddenly mad she can’t? Again, she didn’t ask. You have to go back to the beginning and realiz that you were not invited out of a sister wanting a brother to enjoy something. You were invited solely so that your mother could baby sit, but again she didn’t ask to.
You see how none of this is normal? Your father shouldn’t be guilting you for something that never happened. She didn’t ask to baby sit so why is he assuming something happened?
Your sister does not get to control who watches your child by manipulating you. Because that’s exactly what happened. Do you want this to happen to your child? When she’s older, do you think it would be ok for you to question why she wouldn’t let your wife babysit when your wife never asked? Would it be ok if your other daughter started being mean to her for not doing what you say?
You have the power to stop this bullshit and prevent it from ever happening again. Do not let them do this to you, your wife or your child. Don’t.