I just found this sub and could relate to your restaurant stories far more than I care to admit. I am NC with my NarcMom now, but towards the end I refused to go out to eat with her because it was awful. It was especially painful to me because I was a waitress in my early 20s for a few years,  and knew what a pain in the ass she was.
    My mom in every restaurant: walk in and immediately refuse the first table the hostess would give us. Every. Single. Time. So my whole family would be standing near the rejected table while the poor host would scramble to find a suitable substitute. 
     She would then insist on knowing the specials (and asking questions about them! ), but then go on to literally create her own meal of a plate of starchless veggies (yes, she was anorexic and had other eating issues). She loved very nice restaurants, but no matter what amazing cuisine they were known for, she would never order anything off the actual menu. . 
     Then, when the food would arrive we would all start to eat, except for crazy Mom. She would start frantically waving down anyone who might work there to let them know her food was cold and needed to be sent back. This also happened Every. Single. Time. The kicker though was she would not even test the heat of the food, but checked if the plate was hot. Many times the food was fine, but the plate was not hot , so she would insist that her food was cold. And God help the cooks if that random plate of vegetables did not come out essentially steaming . She would tell the rest of us to eat, but it's pretty awkward to when someone has no food and is just sitting there. She managed to return her food even at places where it didn't make sense.  A salad at the American Girl Restaurant, what could go wrong here?  Well, she returned it because she insisted she saw dressing on it, which was a big no no. That was the one time I saw a waiter push back and insist it was not possible because she made it and made sure not to put dressing. That resulted in basically a Mexican standoff between my batshit mother and the poor waitress who did not get paid enough to deal with people like her. I finally just begged the waitress to bring out another damn salad and tried to communicate the desperation in my eyes that she would not win this battle.
       Part of my Mom's disordered eating is making sure everyone except for her is eating a TON. A 3 course meal was mandatory.  If my sister and I didn't want dessert, she would become visibly annoyed with us even though I would tell her to get whatever she wanted instead. 
       The worst came in the later years when she developed a love of the relaxing pace of the Parisian dinner, where apparently a 3 hour dinner is not unusual.  My Mom would get a reservation at the hottest restaurant in Chicago and do everything possible to stretch the meal out to ridiculous lengths in time, despite the restaurant hoping to turn the table and me wanting to get out of the restaurant as soon as possible. Picking a glass of wine would take at least 20 minutes. She would order a dry salad as an appetizer and refuse to give the waiter her dinner order, claiming that every restaurant would bring out her appetizer together with her main course. The last 2 times she flat out refused to order ANYTHING for a good hour into the reservation. The waiter would awkwardly ask again and again if she was ready to order, to which she would coldly reply she needed more time. Then when she finally had sat long enough she would order her entree of something never on the menu. It was a painful experience to eat with her. I would avoid making eye contact with the waiters unless she was in the bathroom, where I would then apologize for my Mom. SO fun! 
        And finally, she would have too much wine and speak Spanish  (non native Speaker ) to any busboys whether they were Hispanic or not. You haven't lived until you have sat through a 4 hour dinner with the My Mom, the world's worst dinner guest, and then had to pull your Mom off of the busboy she was drunkenly speaking sweet words of Espanol to. Going NC has been a wonderful choice. 

TL;DR: NarcMom made going out to a nice restaurant hell on earth.