A reply from a US perspective.
My experience is that Masonic charity in the United States is focused on outsiders, not insiders. In particular, the Blue Lodge in the US is associated with college scholarships and the Special Olympics. There are also the Scottish Rite and Shriners hospitals, run by appendant bodies. In fact, some older Brethren disapprove of giving lodge funds to lodge members- they see it as corrupt. This attitude is changing, but slowly. However, north American masonry operates on a state-by-state basis, and other Grand Lodges may have remained more committed to Masonry's original purpose of charity for "worthy distressed MMs, their widows, and orphans".
I think that it is accurate to say that the perception of Masonry in the UK is much more negative than the perception of Masonry in the US. The only people who think that Masons are conspiring to control the government or do satanic rituals probably believe that the Jews are doing the same thing. I do not think that this is because we have a more open government (we don't), and while our tabloid press is much smaller and weaker than Britain's, our TV news (especially Fox and now MSNBC) more than makes up for it. I suspect that while the British were hyperventilating about Masons we were having a panic about satanic ritual abuse and wondering whether our President really had sex with that woman. It also helps that in the US the Masons are mostly a working class fraternity, while my impression is that UGLE is primarily middle-class and up.
Most Masons are old in the US as well as the UK
Two very big differences you did not mention; in UGLE almost everyone takes the Royal Arch degree, while in the US it's a by-degree conferred by an appendant body. Most Masons don't take it, and for most men who do it's merely a step on the way to the Knights Templar.
The other big difference is the presence of alcohol in lodge rooms!