Woman with my dream engagement ring here. When my husband and I got engaged, he bought me my dream ring. It was not inexpensive. I sometimes feel guilty for having asked for such an extravagant ring, but I am so very pleased with it. It makes me endlessly happy to see it on my finger, it’s a stunning ring, and if I had to do I all over again, I would.
I would have married him without it. Actually when we were first engaged, he proposed with a plastic lego ring...the diamond came months later, I would have said yes if he had proposed with a Happy Meal.
I have often wondered what else I could have used the money for, but I always come back to being very happy that we made the decision to buy the ring. It reminds me so much of the time we fell in love and makes me feel like a spoiled princess, which then makes me want to spoil my husband with love and attention. It’s just like a big cycle of happiness.
So yes, you could use the money for something else, but you won’t lose by giving her something that has meaning to her, even if you find it to not bear the same meaning for you. I have had my ring for 6 years now and I will never ever feel less than totally elated to put it on each day. The intangible is also very important in a marriage.
Lastly, marriage is largely learning to compromise, especially when you think the others persons needs are ridiculous, that’s when you need it the most. I would suggest coming up with a budget that you agree on and sticking to it. Don’t see it as diamond money, see it as making an investment in your future.
I would have loved my husband the same without my ring. In fact, most days I wear a plain band while I work. It was $100, we used it in our wedding ceremony because my band wasn’t ready in time. I will keep it forever and always wear it as well...but there was a certain sweetness to having my man indulge me in such an intimate way that only he could...and if you can’t tell, I very much appreciate it.
It doesn’t sound like you can’t buy one, just that you’d prefer not to. You’ve given it a lot of thought before and you’ve decided that it’s not really important to you and even silly perhaps, but now you have the chance to look at it through a new lens, one that gives you a chance to consider the feelings and desires of your partner, and maybe you’ll change your mind.
Good luck friend, best wishes to you both.