Dragon Age was the very first RPG that made me comfortable playing as a jerk and it's because of how elves are framed in the narrative.

My Warden was a city elf. When King Cailan called him friend and asked for his name, I took the jerk response and said, "I'm no friend of yours, human lord." Duncan told me to shelf it and if I could've responded, I would've told him to kiss my ass, too. Once Cailan tried to warm up to me by asking me about the alienage in Denerim, I told him it was a horrible ghetto instead of coddling his feelings.

In most RPGs, playing as a jerk is something you do for the novelty of it. But in Dragon Age, my character's anger and hostility towards humans is completely justified. He's lived under the boot of human oppression his whole life. Shortly before Duncan recruited him, he had to rescue his cousin Shianni and her friends from being raped by human nobles, and one of them ended up murdered.

Then Duncan has the nerve to hush him in front of the king who has never stepped foot in Denerim's alienage, much less raise a finger to help the elves at all?

Personally, it's the closest I've felt to being seen in a fantasy series. I think your read of Cassandra is completely right and it's an attitude you see often in the real world today. I could write you an entire essay on what it's like to have friends who close, loyal, and ultimately well-meaning, but can still be profoundly blind to their own privilege and cultural centrism.

And that's why Bioware's characters are so good. The fact that there is such a large disagreement among fans for favorite and most despised characters shows that the writers did their jobs very well.

I like Cassandra but there were things I really annoyed me about her. I liked even more that my Dalish Inquisitor could call her out and demand she respect his beliefs.