[Discussion] Free Talk Thread - Friday 22nd

I'm having trouble with my feelings, I like two people and I'm in a relationship. I've been with guy a for a year now, and he's been nice to me and took care of me but I really like guy b too. I can relate to him alot, he knows how to make me laugh when I'm down, and he's really gay and cute. I don't know what to do. Emotions are so hard. I guess I should just think it out for a while, I don't know how long it'll take or what answer I come to. I hope I can just calm down about it, cause I've been shaky and stressed all night.

I've been hanging out with guy b for a few months now, and we spend pretty much all day together except for when he's at work. I said I loved him, but then imagining leaving guy a for good made me so nervous and I'm not sure why. I feel like a bad person, and I apologized and I really can't blame him if he gets mad at me. I hope that if things don't work out with me, he'll find someone who'll treat him way better than I am right now. I really value the time we've spent together and he's so cute. He makes me happy.

Guy a is sweet and I've known him for a long time (almost two years) and he always tries his best to take care of me, even when he's busy with school, he'll usually try to fit in a few games, movies, and other things for us to do. He's usually really stressed and busy- always working, or we can't do much because he's at his parents and his parents really missed him. But I do care about him alot. We've had some rough spots, but he's always apologized if he's done something wrong.

Both of these guys are really unique, and it's really hard to choose or know what my feelings are. I would like to start over new, but imagining leaving my current relationship also panicked me, even though for 3 days it didn't. I feel like an awful person, guy a was upset last night, I was shaky and stressed, felt really nauseous and I had an emotional breakdown. I just wish things in my life would calm down right now. My grandmother is dying, I'm lonely without my best friend, I'm lonely without my boyfriend, and I'm bad at knowing my feelings and caused a huge mess. It's been hard not to cut, and I even felt like walking down to the train tracks last night (like an idiot) but I didn't do it. My life is such a fucking mess. Every day there's something that keeps me up at night, something that eats away at me and I am pretty sure this situation will hurt me the most.

/r/SchoolIdolFestival Thread