This album is my favourite album of all time, never has an album resonated with me so much. I'm not even exaggerating when I say I've listened to it multiple times a week since it was released this day last year.
I first got into Mac back when K.I.D.S dropped, BSP came out and I never really could get into it and then his music passed me by over the years. When Self Care dropped, it made me rediscover my love for Mac, I remember counting down the days until Swimming was released and upon my first listen I was blown away. Usually an album takes me a few listens to really get into it, but this grabbed me straight away.
I remember he posted the U.S tour dates and I was so excited for him to announce the European leg of the tour, I had just moved to the U.K from Ireland and no artist ever skips the U.K so I knew I would get a chance to see him live.
Fast forward a month, to the 7th of September, I've listened to Swimming multiple times on a daily basis, and been going back through his discography being so mad that I slept on him for so many years, my girlfriend has even become a massive fan of his. That night, Spiderman on PS4 had just released and I was so excited to get home to play it, about 30 mins into it, I get a message from my best friend on facebook.
"Mac Miller died, man"
It hit me like a tonne of bricks. He wouldn't be the guy to mess with something like that, i knew it instantly that it was true. I still get shivers just thinking about that message.
A celebrity death never hit me like this before, I didn't know Mac, I'd never met him, but through his music, I felt like I did. He was only 2 years older than me, so like a lot of fans, it felt like we grew up as he did. His death really messed with my head, I started thinking about what happens after death and became increasingly anxious over it, I couldn't wrap my head around how he was here and gone in an instant. I remember watching his instagram story, the night he died, just listening to So It Goes. His constant foreshadowing of what was to come in his lyrics still haunts me.
"Doing drugs is just a war with boredom but they sure to get me"
"And recently I've been feelin', I've been feelin' like, It'd be really nice to get to sit with Mickey Weiss, shoot the shit 'bout life, he'd be pissed I'm sniffin' white, never got to see me grow up, how long it take to live a life? I'm a bit surprised that I'm even still alive, mixin' uppers and downers, practically suicide"
"Everybody saying I need rehab, 'cause I’m speedin' with a blindfold on and won’t be long until they watching me crash and they don’t wanna see that, they don’t want me to OD and have to talk to my mother, tell her they could have done more to help me and she’d just be crying saying that she’d do anything to have me back, all the nights I’m losing sleep, it was all a dream, there was a time that I believed that, but white lines be numbing them dark times, them pills that I’m popping, I need to man up, admit it’s a problem, I need to wake up before one morning I don’t wake up, you make your mistakes, your mistakes never make ya"
It's almost a year since he passed and it still hurts. Some nights I'll chill with a joint just listening to his music and think about him for a bit. But as long as I'm alive, I'll bump his music. I often make the joke to my girlfriend that if we ever had kids, they'd grow up listening to Mac 24/7 and how when I'm old and senile, give me his discography I'll be happy.
Most dope thats forever.