I'm in my mid twenties and I've never been kissed, let alone been with a woman. I can count the number of legitimate dates I've been on on one hand. I know, that's almost a running joke here on Reddit, but I can promise you it's not funny when I step away from the computer and realize that's actually my life.

Now, you might be thinking a number of things. Maybe I just need to change a few things about my appearance, or shave my neckbeard. Maybe I'm just exaggerating things a bit, playing up the "woe is me" angle while shifting the blame onto other people. Maybe my standards are too high for the tiny town I live in in Bumfuck, Nowhere. But I don't think any of that's true. I live in a big city where there's plenty of women. I'm educated, reasonably well put together, and I've heard the term "cute" thrown my often enough over the years to think there might be some truth behind it. I wear a shiny badge to work and have an interesting set of hobbies. I work out, am generally well liked when socializing, and ultimately feel like I have something to offer.

The problem is I just don't know how to get close to people. Addiction tore my family apart when I was younger and I just never figured out how to form relationships. I was so focused on surviving that I went into an emotional bomb shelter and never came out. Most people my age have a decade of dating experience under their belt and are starting to settle down or get very serious about their relationships. Meanwhile, I'm still standing on the starting blocks, waiting for the starter gun to go off.

It just feels like I'm broken in some very fundamental way, and I don't know if it can be fixed. I've tried therapy and it hasn't worked. I don't know how to explain just how crushing the loneliness is because it's not something that most people understand, and I'm so ashamed of my situation that I've given up trying to get the point across. I've tried OKC on the off chance that I'd meet someone and it has done nothing to alleviate my problems. I just don't know what to do at this point.