Disobeying, back talk and attitude has suddenly skyrocketed. Has everybody perplexed and at wits end

First off, thank you for taking the time to leave such an in depth response.

I’ve been in the child’s picture for approximately six months, FW’s for longer. That’s why I leave most, if not all, parenting to Mom

Mom has primary custody, Dad has her three of the four weekends a month and they occasionally have a daddy daughter night during the week if Mom works late. He is actively in the picture but he is much more the friend parent in my opinion, but that’s another gripe for another time

Mom has actually followed through with throwing away the toys before, so SD knows it’ll happen, which generally causes a larger outburst and less chance of getting the child to do what was asked because it turns into massive tantrum or crying or what have you.

Authoritative parenting is absolutely something I’m going to look into and highly recommend FW does as well. Finding the child’s currency is gonna be tricky. She’s at that age where she hasn’t switched over to TV and electronics being the priority and I’ve seen that where Mom takes the DS away as punishment, so SD just goes to her room to play with her toys. It’s like the punishment wasn’t really a punishment, just a hinderance

We know that crying and tantrums generally work with SD’s father, but she usually doesn’t use that at home to get her way. But like I said originally, the last week or so, it hasn’t mattered. FW said to me prior to reading your response that her mother has commented that she can “ask” something of SD and she does it, but once Mom or Dad are there, SD will actively act out and misbehave. Like she’s purposely trying to disobey and push buttons. And I can attest to this because I’ve watched her for an entire day, had not the tiniest issue. The second Mom got home, we’re running in the house and mouthing off and actively pushing buttons and disobeying

I will most certainly be looking into authoritative parenting as you suggested. Thank you

/r/stepparents Thread