Not so fast, OP. I like the accountability, and I'm glad you recognize that your actions were abhorrent. But I'd like you to consider paying back society in good deeds and remorseful behavior for at least the same amount of time you weren't your best? Could you attempt (after more self-reflection) to reconcile with those you've wronged? Do you have any good male figures in your life? Reconnect with them, if so, because you've got a chance to turn things around. I'm not going to tell you your behavior was okay, it never will be and youve acknowledged this, but you can make a conscious effort to be a better person every single day and it's gonna surprise you the way life opens up and greets you right back. The red pill community can't help you, I'm glad you saw that. Once you get set on a better path, the feeling of being lost or behind will melt away. Get yourself into different industries and find something you like, plenty of companies will even offer you tuition reimbursement up to 100% if you seek a relevant degree. You're at the age where it's the perfect time to get your hands dirty and find a career path that doesn't bother you. Something you'd be happy to get paid to do every day. Set short-term and long-term goals to help you get the things you want in life and keep putting out good energy. It isn't easy, but that's how you draw in interest and opportunity. Turn it around, OP, you can do it.