44 here, left my ex-wife and two children on the opposite coast just 6 years ago. Once the divorce starts, you can expect her to use the domestic violence laws against you... so ABR (always be recording). Also, GET OUT. Visit shrink4men.com. Get the book "The Narcissist You Divorce". Reconnect with the family and friends that you are GOING TO NEED to get through this... and get ready to cut all ties. Find an attorney who specializes in high-conflict divorce... and I mean one that had actually heard of and/or attended a seminar from the highconflictinstitute.com.

I see my kids every 2 months - it's expensive, but worth it... She can't get me hauled off to jail for a night, send police to my workplace, or file a false TPO from 3000 miles away. I can't protect them from her, but I CAN build a life so they have somewhere to run when she turns on them... and she will. Re-married to a normal woman (it took 5 years to get back to normal after a 5 year abusive marriage).

Take ALL of your joint account money right now, put them in an account at a different bank, and DO NOT deposit anything else into an account that she has control over. Get an attorney, even just have a consult with one (pay for a single hour! Some may even be free), and follow his advice. DON'T SPEND THAT MONEY if you can help it - you will eventually have to return some of it to her... but the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) she is using to keep you broken has GOT to get lifted so you can do what's best for you.

There will be no help from her. Once she realizes you are leaving, she will cut her own throat if it means she can nick your finger in the process. Your only shield is distance, and your only future is one without her.

http://shrink4men.com/2015/06/24/say-goodbye-to-crazy-episode-7-divorce-bitterness/