Look to the end of Aleister Crowley! To Jack Parsons! These things have no love for You!

Your main guy got tortured to death. Christians love agonizing about his perecited you were and how many early leaders died horribly, despite the complete lack of evidence that any of that stuff actually happened. Personally I'm undecided on whether or not Jesus existed at all, much less the matter of him being who his followers claim him to be. Read some Bart Ehrman books like How Jesus Became God to learn how Christianity actually formed.

As for my own life, just Give me that old time religion. It's good enough for me.